A lot of people tell me that I remind them of Gilbert Arenas, but the truth is that Gilbert Arenas is reminding them of me.
Regardless of which way your comparison flows, the important thing is that I would never do what he did, which is use a gun in a joking manner.
In any case, if I'm going to threaten someone with a gun - via myself or a third party - I'm going to mean it, and you're going to get shot.
That doesn't mean I am a murderer, so please do not misinterpret my words. I will only mean to injure you. I am injurer, and only if you deserve it. Like that time I shot Petey.
Gun owners everywhere are embarrassed by your actions, Gilbert. Guns are for hurting and killing, not for simple tomfoolery of the kind you seem to enjoy.
Lakers by 7.
I AM CALVIN STADIUMS.